Extra Extra!

Today was the first day I printed a special edition of the comic. Concerned people might mistake the use of coffee on my head as an avocation of the caffeine laden product, I printed a special edition version of the story my Dad sent me. It really reminded me of things Mark and Jason have said to me I liked the message behind it, because, after all, life is to be savored in all its forms.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. All the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source, of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself, adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... and then began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee Life has provided us."

Sisterhood

A series of unexpected events had Jamie and I choose to take time apart nearly a year ago. I'm clear, after all this time, that time, as they say, heals all wounds. Really, though, it may not be so much about healing the wounds as it is about recognizing that even your sister can sometimes do things which simply piss you off. Even when you're pissed though, can you really live without your families -- those of blood and those of choice?

Welcome home sister of the glitterific sparkaluscious light!

Under the Palace

For all you beautiful beings willing to play with me and some fire under the Palace of Fine Arts tonight! And for those willing to come back in two weeks. . . :)

Leather & Lacy

Lacy is one of my best friends, a dance partner, my amazing assistant and a being who blesses me with the pleasure of a friendship that keeps on giving. She is tolerant, loving, open and, as with myself, in constant evolution.

One of the aspects of our journey we have been discussing a lot lately is our own process around expressing femininity. For a long time, we have both wanted to be tough women -- the kind of woman who can take care of herself and doesn't actually need anyone as previous generations of women might have been culturally trained to think they require. For both of us, it expressed itself in a certain tomboyish-ness. Fortuitously enough, our evolution coincides. In the last few weeks, we have spoken much about moving from the expression of our toughness through tomboyishness -- represented by leather -- and learning to allow the more feminine into our lives both figuratively and literally through the fabric of lace (which also happens to be Lacy's nickname).

Wednesday Night Dancing

I thought it was the most clever thing to call a party ComeUnity when I first saw it nearly 10 years ago. Interestingly enough, the parties weren't so much a community of people who necessarily did anything other than appreciate amazing music on great sound systems at this monthly party (and many others like it).

Conversation was never the focus at these parties. Everyone (well, I'll generalize here -- there's no real saying what everyone was thinking) understood the deeper idea of ecstatic dance and reaching higher places in our consciousness by surrendering our thoughts and letting go of our judgments long enough to simply dance. It seemed each month we were creating a ritualistic prayer as we danced hoping, somehow, through something so universal as music, we'd be able to find the thing beauty pageant contestants say they want to create all the time (or at least in Ms. Congeniality!): Whirled Peas

Ode to Our Inner God/dess

One of the blessings of my life (and I have many, so many sometimes I wonder what I have done to deserve it and how it is I can continue to create them in my world (yet another reason for the comic book!)) is the amazing opportunity to interact with countless (well, okay, I can count -- 875 at this point) amazing people who patron the Temple with their business. That, of course, is a wonderful thing.

However, the real gift comes in getting to know them and them sharing themselves and their stories of life and development with me. Today I was honored by a beautiful Goddess who shared with me a story of how she found within her own experience an amazing transformation. Last evening, through a series of events, she found herself called to be by Spirit; today she wrote me and credited me with a part of that calling, offering that I was one of the gifts given to her. The entire story reminded me of this quote by Marianne Williamson as spoken by Nelson Mandela at his inaugural speech in 1994:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

1 poi each, 2 poiple playing

Synthesis: the combination of ideas into a complex whole. [from WordNet]

Imagine if you had so much skill, flow, practice and freedom of movement such that you were able to improvise sets of poi-play with another poi artist where you, without speaking, planning or doing anything other than flowing, were able to improvise 2 poi moves with each person playing on hand of the move. Weaves, reels, corkscrews, butterflies -- all of it. Ian and I have been playing with that on and off for 6 months now and having amazing progress through time. We enjoy it so much, we'll be offering a class.

The Game of...

Life. So beautiful in all its flavors. I'm grateful to have learned to appreciate mine and I find I can say many more days than not, "I love my Life."

I can recall the time when I cut my own flesh with a razor in a confused attempt to extinguish my own spirit. My grandmother was dying and I had made a deal with God -- "I'll give up the man I love if you spare her life." How many people don't make a deal with God at some point? She lived four more years; he dropped out of school, quit his job and would never speak to me again.

I was a stressed out college sophomore trying to understand the meaning of love when I didn't even know how to experience my own life. Classic Isa -- do a marathon before getting up and walking. [Funny to notice my own self judgment just now about who I was then... Ah, WWJD?]

Anyway, in the moment I was listening to my tape on my sport walk man through my yellow earphones, it seemed like my secret voice of power waking me up.

"No one is wise
Until they see how it lies
Love this life
Don'’t wait till the next one comes

...

There'’s something that you can do
Even if you think that I hate you
Stop your complaining leave me defenseless
When you love this life
Gotta love this life
Love this life though you'’ll never know why
Gonna love this life
Gonna love"

It's from Love this LIfe by Crowded House off Temple of Lo Men. The song was before I found glitter... and certainly a critical step to getting there. For many years, actually.

Though I must say, I've never loved quite like since...

The Power of Possibility

When we're teaching classes at the Temple, part of our instruction includes helping students remain patient in their practice, understanding that learning a move happens through time, not all in a single instant. We often suggest to students who say, "I can't do this!" that they might find it easier to learn the moves if they allow for the possibility of learning through the use of powerful language -- in this case, by adding the word "yet" to the sentence. I can't do this yet is a far more powerful approach. In class last night, Stephanie and Silvia reminded me of the word and its application.

I was also super inspired today to create a more dramatic painting because I acquired the blue and green face paint at Kryolan. When I was in the store, the beautiful woman behind the counter (whose name I don't recall at present) and I were talking about my makeup portfolio -- the one I started because Tamale (a really cool student of mine from Chicago who is a comedian and makeup artist) suggested I should. I thought it might be fun to have the words have pictures too.

World on Fire

Rosanna posted a link to a community list I'm on to Sarah McLachlan's new video, World on Fire. I've been a fan of her's for a long time -- I enjoy her songs and lyrics and have often been moved to tears listening to her albums.

First, the video is super inspiring. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. My friend Travis (who is in the picture with me) said it even moved him to tears. The video depicts how Sarah spent her money to make the video -- primarily toward developing countries. The video made no requests of anyone for funds and even goes so far as to indicate they aren't asking for funds. This philanthropic gesture is a wonderful reminder of generosity.

Then I was further inspired by the lyrics, especially this line:

Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

It is the last line above that inspired my words today.

Can you ever have too much clarity?

Despite the fact that the earring for the new hole was smaller than the spiral I used on the two main holes, it took Lacy and I nearly a half hour to work the earring into the hole last night. The ear is a little sensitive -- but I'm trying really hard to just "notice the sensation" rather than get caught up in the pain. I haven't decided which look I like more.

But that's not really what today's word is all about. The idea of clarity about one's self has come up in conversation a bit lately, most notably with Lacy, Sean V. and Prisna. The conversations have focused on the idea of how people often interpret clarity in communication as a bluntness which potentially becomes offensive and/or abrasive and/or harsh. It is amazing to me how my clarity often offends other people.

It is similar to the situation when I got fired from Marimba. I was clear what was going on and sent an email to all of the senior and middle management team articulating (what I now know to be) the political dynamics and I called my boss incompetent for the job he was currently in. The thing is, I'd heard almost all of them say it themselves. My truth telling somehow became "wrong" and was grounds for me being fired. They called it insubordination. The judge ruling on my unemployment insurance called it naivete. Somehow, telling the truth bluntly just doesn't seem to be okay. . .

The Chronicles of GlitterGirl

I have to put a big thank you out there to Eric from the Life As Art community who, some time ago, suggested I do a GlitterGirl comic book. You might have noticed that the pictures i've been posting have a distinctly comic book feel. If you're interested in the first volume of the Chronicles of GlitterGirl, email me and I'll send it to you.

Bloom

Some IllumiNaughty friends of mine are putting together The Havilah Garden which is a project that inspired me deeply. The garden will include a walk of fear leading to enclosed garden of hope and a tree of emergence and will include lush plant life on the playa. In an environment filled with dust and lacking in lushness, I'm truly inspired to experience something alive and I imagine this will be an amazing gift for so many on the playa.

It felt great to see this old family of mine after spending so much time building the Temple for so long. These are people who have witnessed my evolution from corporate entrenched systems engineer to running the Temple full time. Many of them questioned the shift and possibility of it being a viable financial alternative to a life behind a computer desk. I'm glad to say my hopes overcame my fears and I have Bloomed into a new me -- one I imagine this project will reflect at Burning Man in 2006. I'm happy to give my support to these friends and this project.

The Next Generation

I seem to know so many people over the last few years who have had children or are planning to have children. Most recently, my friends Stephanie and Gadget had a boy (in February) followed by Vikki and Gregg having a boy in March. I finally got to meet Luke -- Vikki and Gregg's son -- and will meet Jet (Stephanie and Gadget's son) next week. To top it off, I got an email from Lucas (a student and friend) who said he and his wife are expecting as well. Blessings to all these babies!

Later that day, as part of my own re-birth and transformation, I began stretching the holes in my ears just a little bit. I actually like the size of the larger diameter better visually and if my left hole is any indication, it feels better too.

Compassion without Com...

When I dropped by the studio last Thursday, several folks thought my head said Passion instead of Compassion. And, I also have a hot date planned with Aaron. . . always a little passion there! ;)

Ode to Martha Graham

And special thanks to Katy Pomelov for turning me on to this quote and special thanks to Jenny Bold in Chicago for having it at just the right time during our workshop in February.

There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time this expression is unique. and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it! It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
~ Martha Graham

Meanwhile, about the typo -- while putting the makeup on, I messed up the second "t" and after cleaning up the stem, I forgot to put the cross on it. People kept asking me what it said and I thought, "I really need to work on the contrast in colors more!" Of course, that was before Laurel pointed out my spell checker let me out of the house with vitalily, not vitality.

You've got to have...

When I got back to town, Aaron and I were hanging out discussing religion. He comes from a bi-cultural household (Lutheran and Jewish). As we were discussing the idea of God and religion, he suggested that people don't necessarily believe in God -- they just have Faith and that religion was about having Faith. I got to thinking about the idea of agnostics and atheists and wondered about what they might have faith in. I imagine it is science, evolution and/or the unknown.

For my part, I like the idea of "the force" and I experience it in tangible ways as flow in my life -- not just in my poi practice, but in my life practice.

Squished in a Middle Seat

3 out of 4 people I encountered on the streets of San Francisco commented on the butterfly. 4 people in all of the Dallas, Salt Lake City and Oakland airports and airplane rides commented on it. One was a woman in Dallas who was really impacted by it and acknowledged it twice. One was a flight attendant in a rest room in SLC. One was the little girl sitting next to me on the plane. She was in her rather large grandmother's lap. The poor woman was squished in a middle seat with her beautiful but somewhat vocal granddaughter. When the child's shoe fell on me and woke me -- the third time something fell on me -- I thought back to my word on May 25th. It was a challenging experience and I was grateful to call to mind, "WWJD?"

Don't go for Second Best Baby -- Express Your Self!

While I was in Dallas at the Texas Flagger Weekend, I taught a highly emotional and deeply meaningful class which was scheduled to be 2 hours but ran 1.5 hours over because we of the depth of the artists in the class. The session was a performance workshop geared toward helping the performers develop their own unique sense of Self Expression. I painted my head that morning with the founding principals of Temple of Poi in mind:

Express yourself fully and completely until and unless you take away someone else's ability to express themselves fully and completely.

Thanks to Christopher Fish for the photos.

How would you react?

When my brother's wife Judy was diagnosed with cancer years ago, I considered what it might be like to be a woman going through chemotherapy. I wondered what it might be like to lose my hair. For years I associated a bald headed woman with sickness/chemo/cancer.

I wondered what other's might think when they saw me bald -- especially traveling from Oakland to Dallas with a layover in Salt Lake City. I figured I'd be interacting with hundreds of people, at least on some level. I also though it was clever to replace a well put together hair style with a simple word, "Vanity," and just assumed people would react to it.

When I got on my second flight I sat next to a lovely couple who were probably in their 50s from Dallas just returning from a 7 day cruise in Alaska. While they had seen me in the airport, they hadn't the time to notice my head because they were too busy trying to get on the plane or get to their gate and manage their own travel process. So while I thought the airport would be a fun place to play with people's ideas of right/wrong/good/bad/sick/healthy/vanity/self-image, I think perhaps a mall would have been a better choice.