The Ants Go.... Marching Suicidally

Oh how weird the world is.

When I sent the email about the ants last week, it must have been some kind of weird foreshadowing.

A colony decided to invade my home when the rain hit. And, in the weirdest of experiences I've ever had with ants, they congregated in the most bizarre place I can think of: my freezer.

I guess with absence of anything on the counters and floors and surface tops that must have seemed like a good place to go.

So there a lots of dead ants on the top of the shelves on the door of the freezer with more attempting to get in. Very odd...

The Ants Go Marching 1-by-1

We live in California so ants seem to a fairly common thing to come by in ones home.

I often consider them as I watch them march by -- are they really the more evolved ones? Their path is so clear and requires nothing more than the beingness of it. I recognize that to think this somehow denies the obvious evolutionary span humans have which ants do not... it is just that sometimes I wonder, are they really laughing at us and speaking to each other and since we don't speak ant we don't really know how evolved they are?

What I really question with much more seriousness: should I kill the ant or let it roam free. Generally I just let it go if there are only a few, but when it looks like they will congregate and create a mass encampment, I start with the genocide. (is that
the right word for exterminating in this context?)

Especially now that I'm getting ready for my (second) 10 day silent meditation retreat wherein you vow "to abstain from killing any living creature," I ask myself this question again and again: do I kill the ant or let it live?

And then I question my criteria.

To some extent, the vow is impossible to maintain -- my guts are constantly killing invasive organisms to sustain my life -- are they not creatures simply because I can't see them?

Is the underlying spirit of the rule to say, "have consciousness about those creatures whose life you snuff" rather than being about the strictness of the rule itself?

A Children's Party

Hunter (isn't he hot? that picture is amazing!), Atreyu (who wore a mask which scared the children -- but it was Halloween! aren't masks okay?) and I were off to do a gig for a 6 year old. I acquired this gig through a beautiful woman I met on the N line some months ago to whom I gave my card. She saved it, called me out of the blue, and hired us to perform. Butterflies are of course fabulous for children's parties, so I went with that. Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture before the gig, so the picture here is what is left over after getting home. And lucky us, we got some fire photos out of it too. The really bright one in the middle is us doing this move that everyone loves where I do hip reels with my poi around us both while Hunter does some sort of figure 8 up high so we don't get tangled. Of all the moves we created, that one was the most random -- we just did it in practice one afternoon. Oddly enough, easy as it was for us to create, crowd consistently love it. What a fun thing to be a fire dancer. I love my life.

Exploring the Energetic Skin

I feel blessed to have met Atreyu. He is an amazing being with whom I resonate strongly. When I look in his eyes and he is looking back, I feel a timeless connection which lightens my soul and brightens my day. I experience our interactions as easy, fun, growth oriented -- at the worst of time -- and spiritually bound in ways I've not experienced with others at our best. More than once I have had the experience of what I would call exploring the energetic skin between us. By this, I mean exploring the place where our subtle bodies -- one might call this our auras -- meet and connect, touch, and expand into each other. I have described it as feeling like in the place where our energetic skin touches, infiinite fractals are born. It feels electric, even though our gross/physical bodies are not actually touching. I think this is because we have this instant rapport created by our mutual movement of energy through dance. He is amazing control of his body in the liquid/pop-n-lock style of movement and each time I watch him, I am reinspired to grow in my own dance skills.

Decompression

I love butterflies! Here's one that I absolutely loved making, though it took a really long time to do because of all the details. It lasted throughout the day really well though, which was fun.

Various Makeup

Nothing in particular to say about any of these... though I do enjoy them.

3 Gigs in One Day

But only one makeup job. :) And yes, that necklace is painted on. It makes hooping so much easier and I had to hoop at all 3 gigs.

I.D.E.A.

My good friend Jason has lots of I.D.E.A.s he shares through his work at the Institute for the Development of Evolutionary Awareness. He has been a tremendous gift in my world and helped me acquire many of the distinctions fundamental to both my work and my lifestyle. Todays headline is for him and his IDEAS -- may they spread far and wide to serve the greater good.

Is it really over?

When people saw decompress on my head, they mistakenly thought it was in relation to Burning Man, which I did not attend this year. Subsequently, they asked, "How can you be decompressing from an event you didn't even attend?" I thought that was funny. And, while I didn't go, up until a week before, I was planning to so I had much of the months of preparation and stress associated with that without any of the upside of the experience.

In this case, it was because I was finally done with all the major editing of the footage from the DVD. The rest, which took weeks, was final proofing and DVD production stuff. I was ready to decompress from a summer of putting my heart, soul, time and energy into creating the Temple of Poi 2006 Fire Dancing Expo DVD and I was grateful to get a respite from editing. No doubt about it -- iMovie is a great tool. That said, I'm sure, in retrospect, Final Cut Pro would have made the job much easier.

We Need Something... Different

On this the 5 year anniversary of 9/11, I still believe we fundamentally need something different in terms of how we as humans interact if we are to survive and thrive as a race. I recently re-read this article about the war in Iraq by Ken Wilber and really resonate with his vision of how we could grow in the future. I hope it comes in my lifetime... though I think that would be optimistic.

Oh yeah, the lettering is in purple for Lexi... in honor of the theme of her trip: different. :)

Bindis Galore!

I was so happy to receive the really awesome bindis Vladlen got for me when he was away in India. In addition to those, I met a beautiful woman who was here from Bombay. She traded me some of these bindis for some poi lessons, so between the two new stashes I received, I was inspired to do less painting and more bindi decorations.

Gig Day

Done with that particular incarnation of a mohawk experiment, I was reinspired by the first day I had shaved my head. Unfortunately, I forgot to take the photo before the Gig, so this is the aftermath of sweat and performing and lost gems and decorations.

Painted Ram Hawks, Part II

Let the Shavings Begin

This was the inspiration for the November shaving... heehee...

Animal? Vegetable?

We thought this looked a bit like a peacock on one side of the face, and an ivy branch on the other...

This One is For you Stephanie (and Jet)

I finally managed to get down to Redwood City to visit with Stephanie and Jet, her and Gadget's(not so) newborn son. I think it took us six months before I actually saw him. Unfortunately for me, it was not until I arrived and she told me I had put the "J" on my head backward -- I had not taken a picture before I left -- that I realized my headline didn't really make sense. Really, I need an automated spell checker.


I was grateful to have just had such a long visit with my nieces. It really prepared me for being in the dynamic of adult and child relating. It was actually interesting how different hanging out with a newborn compared to teens is. I was pretty floored by it, actually. It was interesting how, when I held him and cradled him in my arms, he reached for my breast -- I can only assume he thought I had milk too.

I had a really great time crawling around with him on the floor and an even more fabulous time reconnecting with Stephanie. We had one of the best, deepest, most authentic and intimate conversations we've had in years and I was incredibly moved by the experience. She sent me these photos which arrived the day before my 10 day silent retreat in an effort to inspire me to update my blog. Well, it worked girlfriend -- here I am updating my blog on the 10th day of silence and the last day of my master cleanse filling in all the back entries from August until now (November 25). This one is for you!

Purple (is the color of God)

My dear friend Jon (and one of the many great loves of my life) said to me many years ago, "Purple is the color of God." He then proceeded to cite how purple is a color reserved for high holy days in the Catholic tradition, how the 7th Chakra is represented visually by God and spoke of the purple haze/aura people see when they "meet" God in several references (books, movie, personal accounts). The very first crane mobile I made was for him and it was purple cranes in honor of the God within Him and the divine way in which we met over the years. Unfortunately the mobile burned down when there was a fire in his home some years ago but I was reminded of the whole thing by Lexi's love of purple.

Sunset on the Beach

In retrospect, I suppose it would have made more sense to put this word of the day on my head the day we were making the hoops. Alas, that did not happen.

Lexi had her new hairdo going on with the awesome dye job Matthew and his assistant did for her -- To be honest, when she said she wanted purple hair, I had thought of Steve Freed's crazy mohawks when we lived together at the Poof all those years ago and the manic panic brightness of color you see at Burning Man all the time. I was surprised at how subtle and beautiful the purple looked and was quite impressed.

Anyway, this being the girls last day in town, we went out to the beach and got a great sunset just before the fog rolled in. It was actually great timing and since we hadn't had the weather during the week at sunset previously, I was grateful to give the girls an opportunity to touch the other ocean that bounded this continent. I hadn't touched both oceans until I was well into my 20's so I was glad to facilitate it for them at a younger age.


It was, in typical San Francisco summer style, not warm on the beach, so I was grateful for my cat hoodie (thanks Josie!) because my bald head was cold.

We collected shells, coral, rocks and of course beach glass, played around in the surf, enjoyed the sun going down, played with the camera and finally piled back into the car just as the sun faded over the horizon and the fog covered what might have remained of it. A really fun last evening and I was glad the whole trip had ended on such a positive note.

At the time, I was quite exhausted from the whole trip. Because I am so accustomed to relating with adults, I had no idea how to build rapport with Courtney and Lexi and I consistently wondered if they were actually having a good time or not. I remembered thinking, "How do parents do this?" And I thought of my own parents having five children and was more clear than ever my purpose on this planet is not to be a parent. With time and space having passed from their visit (I write this November 25, 2006), I have a much more keen appreciation of the experience and I would absolutely do it again. Of course, it would be much easier next time since I know them a bit more now and I have a better idea what to expect. I hope when they think back on the trip they will remember it with some fondness, as I do.