Day 6: I'm sleeping in

My sleep schedule got dramatically off Goenka's plan. I tossed and turned for hours. Shortly after midnight the senna tea was working and I found myself up late on and off the toilet for a few hours. The subsequent burning sensitive being... Invigorating... inspired me to do a 1 hour sit at 2 am. The idea of waking up at 4 am after only going to sleep at 3 am seemed both unhealthy and silly.

I decided I was simply going to sleep in, and sleep in I did -- to 8 am, a time that is still earlier than the time I normally awake at. I sat again, and again and then, at 11 am, I simply decided I was more interested in getting the class I had designed a few days prior out of my head than continuing to just meditate for the second 5 days of my retreat.

So I wrote. 14 pages of 12 point non formatted text to be used as part of the handouts for the new class.

Of course, Vladlen's words were in my head again about wimping out. If I was silent for 10 days and meditated every day, even if I only maintained most of the rigor of Goenka's plan for the first 5 days, was I wimping out? I decided not. I realized at some point early on day 6 that I was being attached to the idea of what the 10 days should look like rather than surrendering and simply letting them arise and pass away naturally. Ah, what relief this was.