Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Life. So beautiful in all its flavors. I'm grateful to have learned to appreciate mine and I find I can say many more days than not, "I love my Life."
I can recall the time when I cut my own flesh with a razor in a confused attempt to extinguish my own spirit. My grandmother was dying and I had made a deal with God -- "I'll give up the man I love if you spare her life." How many people don't make a deal with God at some point? She lived four more years; he dropped out of school, quit his job and would never speak to me again.
I was a stressed out college sophomore trying to understand the meaning of love when I didn't even know how to experience my own life. Classic Isa -- do a marathon before getting up and walking. [Funny to notice my own self judgment just now about who I was then... Ah, WWJD?]
Anyway, in the moment I was listening to my tape on my sport walk man through my yellow earphones, it seemed like my secret voice of power waking me up.
"No one is wise
Until they see how it lies
Love this life
Don't wait till the next one comes
There's something that you can do
Even if you think that I hate you
Stop your complaining leave me defenseless
When you love this life
Gotta love this life
Love this life though you'll never know why
Gonna love this life
It's from Love this LIfe by Crowded House off Temple of Lo Men. The song was before I found glitter... and certainly a critical step to getting there. For many years, actually.
Though I must say, I've never loved quite like since...