Saturday, November 18, 2006

Day 3: Sneezing Snot

As if to reaffirm my choice to stay at home, I was in the middle of a sit where I just kept sneezing. I projected myself into the meditation hall and decided the person who would have been sitting in front of me was grateful.

Even though it was only day 3, I had decided to attempt each sit as an hour long sit of strong determination. For those who do not know, this is a sit where you intend to remain still and unmoved. For me, the sitting still and not moving can sometimes make me have visions, literally, of jumping up and screaming. It's a great practice to sit through that because it is so challenging. I think that's the point. ;)

During one of these sits, snot was dripping down my face - the very thing I had said to Travis I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with. His voice in my head reminded me that he had done it during one of his sits in India alternating with Mike's voice saying, "How's your health?" It seemed I had duel voices in my mind distracting me.

When snot started out the second nostril, I burst into laughter, as it reminded me of a rather funny moment I shared with Vatra at Fire Drums this fall. He somehow managed to maintain his sense of humor after burning his cornea during an amazing set he was spinning and was cracking jokes with me behind the DJ booth, one of which involved a hysterical visual you'll have to ask him to show you some time. (Not for the faint of heart, I assure you...)

I think that sit was the most intense of the day. It ran from fun, to funny, to hysterical and even included deep crying -- partly prompted by my tender butt, something that persisted to varying degrees all week. That led me to remember how one night, Jim and Frank were home and offered me some fat free Pringles which have this fat alternative called, I believe, olestra. This "fat alternative" apparently goes right through your digestive system and has this interesting side effect called anal leakage. Given the tenderness of my butt, I was constantly noticing sensation there and was concerned about anal leakage for non-olestra reasons -- simply that I was eliminating with great force.

That reminded me of a Robin Williams clip I saw on recently which contained a bit on anal leakage. (I couldn't find that clip, but I found this clip which Is just as funny -- perhaps funnier.) And, my monkey mind being what it was, well, I was reminded of the rest of the clip. The end of the clip is him imitating... shall we say... Intimate acts between a man and a woman.

Later in the afternoon, I had the most "productive" sit where I did anything but actually notice my sensations. "Productive" is not exactly the word I would ideally want to be considering in relation to sitting, but I designed (in great detail) an entire workshop during that sit. Torn between "should I let it go" or "should I write it down" I compromised and rather than get on my computer, I wrote down the salient points in my journal. It was my thought that perhaps in writing it down, I would quit obsessing over it and let it pass away. The next sit it had passed away, which was great. And, I had decided the entire 10 days time away from work was worth it simply for that course outline I'd completed.