miLife is Cool

How could it not be? I love what I do, do what I love, get paid to do it, have a superhero for a lover, and got my movie, miLife on the big screen in the Apple store in SF, playing at the iMovie festival tonight. Yeah! Fire dancing shown on the big screen.

The Truth

This is an incredibly moving song and I highly recommend it. The song is "The Truth" by India Arie (who, my friend Sean recently told me, has a #1 song about inner beauty called "I Am Not My Hair"). I particularly like the section in the lyrics about the three types of love. The lyrics follow:

Spoken : Let me tell you why I love him

Chorus:
Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright I wouldn't lie

Verse 1:
I remember the very first day that I saw him
I found myself immediately intrigued by him
It's almost like I knew this man from another life
Like back then maybe I was his husband maybe he was my wife
And even, things I don't like about him are fine with me
Cause it's not hard for me to understand him cause he's so much
like me
And it's truly my pleasure to share his company
And I know that it's God's gift to breathe
The air he breathes

Chorus

Verse 2:
How can the same man that makes me so mad
Do you know what he did-(Spoken)
Turn right around and kiss me so soft
Girl do you know what he did-(Spoken)
If he ever left me I wouldn't even be sad no
Cause there's a blessin' in every lesson
And I'm glad that I knew him at all

Chorus

Bridge, Break-down, & Ending :
I love the way he speaks
I love the way he thinks
I love the way that he
treats his mama
I love that gap in between his teeth
I love him in every way that a woman can love a man
From personal to universal but most of all
It's unconditional

You know what I'm talking about-(Spoken)
That's the way I feel
And I always will-(Spoken)

There ain't no substitute for the truth
Either it is or isn't
(Cause he is the truth)
You see the truth it needs no proof
Either it is or it isn't
(Cause he is the truth)
Now you know the truth by the way it feels
And if I am a reflection
of him then I must be fly
Because he is, yes he is

Maaaaawage (insert peter cook accent from Princess Bride)

I had the most amazing experience this weekend at my dear friends Amy and Micah's wedding. I must say, I don't usually think of marriage as an institution I support or agree with in soooo many ways. So many people I have met seemingly "do it" for the sake of what they think it should be, what they think they should be or what they think the idea of marriage is based on the cool fantasies Disney has effectively sold us.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying people don't love each other. It's just that I rarely see a couple that I look at and go, "Ahhhh... Yes, this makes sense and they will evolve with each other and grow in their relationship at the same time."

I'm proud to say my friends had the best ceremony I have ever had the joy of witnessing.

Their friend Aaron, who officiated, did an amazing job. He called attention to his own evolution about the idea of romance and the idea of becoming one when getting married... to "stand together, yet not too near together" and the beauty of retaining our own Selves when we embrace our Other. This line comes from this piece on Marriage from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet -- an amazing reading as part of the ceremony -- which resonates with me so deeply as I consider in my own life what marriage could or would mean:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Congratulations to the Oak and the Cypress -- two amazing people who really thought this through.

Poof!

Amy and Micah are two amazing people. I first met Micah in 2000 in some capacity related to our fabulous IllumiNaughty camp (a Large Scale Sound System whose street address at Burning Man was Sex at 10 o'clock. . . hmmm...). My experience of Micah over the years is that he is a brilliant mind with the potential to truly change the face of our planet in the political realm in ways that could powerfully impact the lives of many people in a positive way. I like knowing someone I perceive in that way whose mind and ideas I value. Needless to say, I respect and like Micah.

Amy of course is no different -- certainly she is a brilliant being in her own right. Her voice could warm the spirit on the coldest day in the deepest part of the Tundra and her ability to feel and love could brighten the spirits of the most cynical and jaded person alive. She is as beautiful and enrapturing as her now husband, Micah.

To my great joy, I have been credited with introducing these two powerful beings. Micah was caring for my Poof chair and then decided to move to North Carolina. Amy then was to take over the poof-sitting responsibilities. They met and not to long later I got calls from both of them asking about the other.

What a joy it is to have seen their wedding... but more on that in the next posts...

Always the Student

Tamale came to visit and what a joy she was to have in town. She gave me some great makeup tips and provided some excellent makeup application tips (she is a makeup artist for Mac in Chicago) which afforded me the opportunity to be a student. A fabulous way to honor the cycles of life -- teacher to student and back again as she stepped into some poi classes at the Temple. Of course, there are the other cycles of life which come to mind lately... My mother's best friend and highly influential mentor in my life Abby passed on recently and this reminded me of the cycle of life; the phases of the moon; the cycle of the harvest; blooming of flowers annually reflected in my new orchid; and of course, the menstrual cycle.

Protecting What Lies Beneath

When we're teaching people about fire safety at the Temple, we talk about the conditions to assess weather or not the dancer is in the proper space to spin fire in. I break down the "self check" into three questions that I call the "3 C's":

Are you Clear? That is, do you feel mentally alert enough to be burning fire? Things that might impact this answer are your mood, how hard a day you had, how much you've been working, a fight you had with someone, an emotional event in your life, and your use of altering substances including alcohol.

Are you Capable? That is, do you feel physically capable of doing the dancing you're attempting to do? Things that impact this answer include how much exercise you have done, how many times you have already burned recently, your use of altering substances, and how tired you are. BEWARE of the adrenaline rush! It can deceive you both on a mental and physical level. My friend Rob stopped my from doing a third burn one night when I was more tired than I realize and hyper pumped because of the adrenaline.

Are you Competent? That is, are you doing moves that you are trained and practiced in? At some point in time, each move will have its "first" time with fire and no matter how much you practice without fire, it isn't necessarily the same feeling with the fire there. I prefer, if I am trying moves that are still wild and not fully practiced, to be extra careful with my hair and ensure my head is covered (even though I usually spin without); hair really is the quickest to burn away.

Read more about fire safety here.

A Connecting Principle

I grabbed my makeup today and thought, "What am I going to put on my head?" Then I looked up at a beautiful poem Vikki wrote for me which had the word "synchronicity" in it. I saw the word and thought that would be what I would use.

Getting in the bathroom and writing it on my head I realized I misplanned the spacing so I had to use a mirror in a mirror -- a completely new skill and I must say, I mind bender. When I got to work, Anne commented on how far I had come with the writing on my head from the first day of "Hope" looking like "nope" to three colors and long words. Evolution, yes indeed.

In 1983 when I bought the The Police album Synchronicity (on vinyl, believe it or not). I had no idea what the word meant. The dictionary would reveal the meaning as: n : the relation that exists when things occur at the same time.
With oh so meaningful definitions like that one available to clarify what it meant (ha!), the lyrics to the albums title became a mantra which rung in my head, especially these:

A connecting principle,
Linked to the invisible
Almost imperceptible
Something inexpressible.
Science insusceptible
Logic so inflexible
Causally connectible
Yet nothing is invincible.

The real synchronicity of this post will become clear when you read the Union post for June 24, 2006.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman...

Has it really been 11 years since this whole Clinton /Lewinsky thing happened? And have you done a Google search on her recently?
I'm not really one to judge someone else's sexual tendencies and, as a woman who can't imagine having only one lover for the rest of my life, I certainly understand the temptation an attractive woman (or man, for that matter!) can create for someone. And, that said, I do question the integrity of a man who says things like, "I did not inhale" and "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..." I'm curious... did anyone actually believe him? Did him lying about it somehow make it better? Oh, but don't get me started there... that leads to a whole other conversation about how absolutely frightened we are of simply speaking our truth.
When I got fired in 2001, my employers said it was because I was "insubordinate." At my unemployment hearing, it was revealed that I was fired for calling my manager (so what if he was a VP?) incompetent to do his job. I sat there in front of the judge and the HR folks from my old company and proudly admitted what I had said. The judge's ruling went something like this: Ms. Isaacs wasn't insubordinate; she was ignorant. I guess I still am because I don't ever want to work anywhere where people can't tell me I'm incompetent simply because I'm a VP.

My inner Hippie

Sometimes I just want to look like a flower child... Appropriate when you live across the street from Hippie Hill.

Dancing with Hunter

Dance Partners are like sisters... sometimes you just need some space... it was a joy to reconnect with Hunter and perform again with him.

Extra Extra!

Today was the first day I printed a special edition of the comic. Concerned people might mistake the use of coffee on my head as an avocation of the caffeine laden product, I printed a special edition version of the story my Dad sent me. It really reminded me of things Mark and Jason have said to me I liked the message behind it, because, after all, life is to be savored in all its forms.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. All the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source, of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself, adds no quality to the coffee in most cases, just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... and then began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.

They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee Life has provided us."

Sisterhood

A series of unexpected events had Jamie and I choose to take time apart nearly a year ago. I'm clear, after all this time, that time, as they say, heals all wounds. Really, though, it may not be so much about healing the wounds as it is about recognizing that even your sister can sometimes do things which simply piss you off. Even when you're pissed though, can you really live without your families -- those of blood and those of choice?

Welcome home sister of the glitterific sparkaluscious light!

Under the Palace

For all you beautiful beings willing to play with me and some fire under the Palace of Fine Arts tonight! And for those willing to come back in two weeks. . . :)

Leather & Lacy

Lacy is one of my best friends, a dance partner, my amazing assistant and a being who blesses me with the pleasure of a friendship that keeps on giving. She is tolerant, loving, open and, as with myself, in constant evolution.

One of the aspects of our journey we have been discussing a lot lately is our own process around expressing femininity. For a long time, we have both wanted to be tough women -- the kind of woman who can take care of herself and doesn't actually need anyone as previous generations of women might have been culturally trained to think they require. For both of us, it expressed itself in a certain tomboyish-ness. Fortuitously enough, our evolution coincides. In the last few weeks, we have spoken much about moving from the expression of our toughness through tomboyishness -- represented by leather -- and learning to allow the more feminine into our lives both figuratively and literally through the fabric of lace (which also happens to be Lacy's nickname).

Wednesday Night Dancing

I thought it was the most clever thing to call a party ComeUnity when I first saw it nearly 10 years ago. Interestingly enough, the parties weren't so much a community of people who necessarily did anything other than appreciate amazing music on great sound systems at this monthly party (and many others like it).

Conversation was never the focus at these parties. Everyone (well, I'll generalize here -- there's no real saying what everyone was thinking) understood the deeper idea of ecstatic dance and reaching higher places in our consciousness by surrendering our thoughts and letting go of our judgments long enough to simply dance. It seemed each month we were creating a ritualistic prayer as we danced hoping, somehow, through something so universal as music, we'd be able to find the thing beauty pageant contestants say they want to create all the time (or at least in Ms. Congeniality!): Whirled Peas

Ode to Our Inner God/dess

One of the blessings of my life (and I have many, so many sometimes I wonder what I have done to deserve it and how it is I can continue to create them in my world (yet another reason for the comic book!)) is the amazing opportunity to interact with countless (well, okay, I can count -- 875 at this point) amazing people who patron the Temple with their business. That, of course, is a wonderful thing.

However, the real gift comes in getting to know them and them sharing themselves and their stories of life and development with me. Today I was honored by a beautiful Goddess who shared with me a story of how she found within her own experience an amazing transformation. Last evening, through a series of events, she found herself called to be by Spirit; today she wrote me and credited me with a part of that calling, offering that I was one of the gifts given to her. The entire story reminded me of this quote by Marianne Williamson as spoken by Nelson Mandela at his inaugural speech in 1994:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

1 poi each, 2 poiple playing

Synthesis: the combination of ideas into a complex whole. [from WordNet]

Imagine if you had so much skill, flow, practice and freedom of movement such that you were able to improvise sets of poi-play with another poi artist where you, without speaking, planning or doing anything other than flowing, were able to improvise 2 poi moves with each person playing on hand of the move. Weaves, reels, corkscrews, butterflies -- all of it. Ian and I have been playing with that on and off for 6 months now and having amazing progress through time. We enjoy it so much, we'll be offering a class.

The Game of...

Life. So beautiful in all its flavors. I'm grateful to have learned to appreciate mine and I find I can say many more days than not, "I love my Life."

I can recall the time when I cut my own flesh with a razor in a confused attempt to extinguish my own spirit. My grandmother was dying and I had made a deal with God -- "I'll give up the man I love if you spare her life." How many people don't make a deal with God at some point? She lived four more years; he dropped out of school, quit his job and would never speak to me again.

I was a stressed out college sophomore trying to understand the meaning of love when I didn't even know how to experience my own life. Classic Isa -- do a marathon before getting up and walking. [Funny to notice my own self judgment just now about who I was then... Ah, WWJD?]

Anyway, in the moment I was listening to my tape on my sport walk man through my yellow earphones, it seemed like my secret voice of power waking me up.

"No one is wise
Until they see how it lies
Love this life
Don'’t wait till the next one comes

...

There'’s something that you can do
Even if you think that I hate you
Stop your complaining leave me defenseless
When you love this life
Gotta love this life
Love this life though you'’ll never know why
Gonna love this life
Gonna love"

It's from Love this LIfe by Crowded House off Temple of Lo Men. The song was before I found glitter... and certainly a critical step to getting there. For many years, actually.

Though I must say, I've never loved quite like since...

The Power of Possibility

When we're teaching classes at the Temple, part of our instruction includes helping students remain patient in their practice, understanding that learning a move happens through time, not all in a single instant. We often suggest to students who say, "I can't do this!" that they might find it easier to learn the moves if they allow for the possibility of learning through the use of powerful language -- in this case, by adding the word "yet" to the sentence. I can't do this yet is a far more powerful approach. In class last night, Stephanie and Silvia reminded me of the word and its application.

I was also super inspired today to create a more dramatic painting because I acquired the blue and green face paint at Kryolan. When I was in the store, the beautiful woman behind the counter (whose name I don't recall at present) and I were talking about my makeup portfolio -- the one I started because Tamale (a really cool student of mine from Chicago who is a comedian and makeup artist) suggested I should. I thought it might be fun to have the words have pictures too.

World on Fire

Rosanna posted a link to a community list I'm on to Sarah McLachlan's new video, World on Fire. I've been a fan of her's for a long time -- I enjoy her songs and lyrics and have often been moved to tears listening to her albums.

First, the video is super inspiring. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. My friend Travis (who is in the picture with me) said it even moved him to tears. The video depicts how Sarah spent her money to make the video -- primarily toward developing countries. The video made no requests of anyone for funds and even goes so far as to indicate they aren't asking for funds. This philanthropic gesture is a wonderful reminder of generosity.

Then I was further inspired by the lyrics, especially this line:

Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able

It is the last line above that inspired my words today.

Can you ever have too much clarity?

Despite the fact that the earring for the new hole was smaller than the spiral I used on the two main holes, it took Lacy and I nearly a half hour to work the earring into the hole last night. The ear is a little sensitive -- but I'm trying really hard to just "notice the sensation" rather than get caught up in the pain. I haven't decided which look I like more.

But that's not really what today's word is all about. The idea of clarity about one's self has come up in conversation a bit lately, most notably with Lacy, Sean V. and Prisna. The conversations have focused on the idea of how people often interpret clarity in communication as a bluntness which potentially becomes offensive and/or abrasive and/or harsh. It is amazing to me how my clarity often offends other people.

It is similar to the situation when I got fired from Marimba. I was clear what was going on and sent an email to all of the senior and middle management team articulating (what I now know to be) the political dynamics and I called my boss incompetent for the job he was currently in. The thing is, I'd heard almost all of them say it themselves. My truth telling somehow became "wrong" and was grounds for me being fired. They called it insubordination. The judge ruling on my unemployment insurance called it naivete. Somehow, telling the truth bluntly just doesn't seem to be okay. . .

The Chronicles of GlitterGirl

I have to put a big thank you out there to Eric from the Life As Art community who, some time ago, suggested I do a GlitterGirl comic book. You might have noticed that the pictures i've been posting have a distinctly comic book feel. If you're interested in the first volume of the Chronicles of GlitterGirl, email me and I'll send it to you.

Bloom

Some IllumiNaughty friends of mine are putting together The Havilah Garden which is a project that inspired me deeply. The garden will include a walk of fear leading to enclosed garden of hope and a tree of emergence and will include lush plant life on the playa. In an environment filled with dust and lacking in lushness, I'm truly inspired to experience something alive and I imagine this will be an amazing gift for so many on the playa.

It felt great to see this old family of mine after spending so much time building the Temple for so long. These are people who have witnessed my evolution from corporate entrenched systems engineer to running the Temple full time. Many of them questioned the shift and possibility of it being a viable financial alternative to a life behind a computer desk. I'm glad to say my hopes overcame my fears and I have Bloomed into a new me -- one I imagine this project will reflect at Burning Man in 2006. I'm happy to give my support to these friends and this project.

The Next Generation

I seem to know so many people over the last few years who have had children or are planning to have children. Most recently, my friends Stephanie and Gadget had a boy (in February) followed by Vikki and Gregg having a boy in March. I finally got to meet Luke -- Vikki and Gregg's son -- and will meet Jet (Stephanie and Gadget's son) next week. To top it off, I got an email from Lucas (a student and friend) who said he and his wife are expecting as well. Blessings to all these babies!

Later that day, as part of my own re-birth and transformation, I began stretching the holes in my ears just a little bit. I actually like the size of the larger diameter better visually and if my left hole is any indication, it feels better too.

Compassion without Com...

When I dropped by the studio last Thursday, several folks thought my head said Passion instead of Compassion. And, I also have a hot date planned with Aaron. . . always a little passion there! ;)