A friend just got back from her 10 day sit and was finding herself in a place of disappointment over how she hasn't been sitting as much and how it was harder than the first. I found myself noticing the perfection of the experience, and sent this her way:
How perfect your experience it. It is the very example of how you can choose equanimity in each moment. It is the perfect example of it all, actually. Relax into it sister. In a sense, you have both already failed and already succeeded. Now that you have done both, you can just sit back and witness the experience... Even now... With ease and gratitude.
Guy said something to me in a session which is perfect: this is the healing — right not. The crying? That was the healing! The struggle? That also is the healing! You returning to the practice is the practice... Is the healing.
Also, I remind you about the through time nature of your reality and life. You are looking for some permanent shift from a single 10 days. And that comes in very small pieces. It is a gradual thing so as long as you focus on the gradual nature of it, you can’t see the bigger picture. Look back 1 year, 2, 5... See how much more rich your life, experience, skills and mastery are. Even now I’m sure you’re offering yourself more grace, more compassion... More acceptance...