Dealing with v. Being with

A few weeks ago, I was in some conflict with my beautiful partner and I was really frustrated. To make myself feel better, I said, “I guess this is what partnership is about — dealing with your partner when they aren’t who you think they are/wish they were/want them to be.” I was full of impatience and frustration, feeling “at odds” with the situation and the partnership.

This week, as we worked through some things, I had a huge shift and said, “this is what partnership is about — figuring out how to be with your partner when they aren’t who you they are/wish they were/want them to be.” This time, I was full of joy, feeling like I was in it with my partner in a co-creation process rather than in opposition.

This is tremendous shift in thinking about how relating operates — one is about “dealing with” as if it is something to be separated from with a sense of hopelessness and lack of solution; the other is about “being with” by surrendering into the partnership from a place of faith in the union that you can and will figure out how to be with the differences.

Ah, how grateful I am. :)